great moments in history – crab or shrimp?

January 3, 2008 at 3:15 pm Leave a comment

S: i have a gift card to joe’s crab shack. i don’t eat there regularly though and am requesting suggestions on what i should get for lunch today.

IN: uhmmm…crab maybe?

S: was it a stupid question? i mean, they have a lot of items on their menu…

IN: it was not a stupid question…it just SEEMED like a stupid question. i did have a pretty good crab experience there once, though, so that is my 2 cents.

S: well i’m torn between the crab and coconut shrimp. i’ve never eaten there in my life and don’t want to waste this opportunity…it may very well be the highlight of my week.

IN: I see, I see. The better question is this: how much buyer’s remorse will you have if you order crab, and how much will you have if you order shrimp? This is a once in a lifetime experience, and it is terrifying how improbable the planet is anyway.

S: Shit.

IN: In honor of your conundrum, an existential angst poem fragment:

Just say this world was
Never worth the beginning
It must have cost us
To be here
in the one moment
of skin spinning in the sun,
like a coin flashing
in all the oxygen air.

S: what’s the point of it all anyway. it’s just food, soon to be shit. i’ll just have rolls and butter. no, on second thought, i’ll have it all. but not at once.

IN: So this Zen Buddhist walks into a restaurant and orders a veggie burger. The lady behind the counter says, “What do you want on it?” And he says, “Everything.”

S: I can’t decide.

IN: Either crab or shrimp will make the ride better. Leo Strauss (and Nietzsche before him) said there is only the powerful ruling the weak. Not to be fatalistic or anything, but it is destiny for you to eat one of those tasty creatures and enjoy its deliciousness. This is what is meant by saying that form swallows content but content begets form.

S: i just ordered the shrimp. i had to pick one. or starve. i figured sauciness is a good thing. and i need to eat. man, i hope this wasn’t a mistake.

IN: Nothing will hurt, and everything will be beautiful. You have made a wonderful choice, and your day will be filled with joy.

S: This is maddening.

IN: And you are not even the shrimp in the equation.


Entry filed under: conversation, crab, dining, joe's crab shack, philosophy, shrimp.

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